The real reason

I have nappy hair. It’s my natural texture and I don’t change it with any chemicals or straighteners. Lately, there seems to be a bit of a revolution going on with black women and their hair. More and more of us are publicly embracing our natural textures. I’ve been invited to workshops, posted in online forums, and read many articles about black women and natural hair. Because of this phenomenon, when people see me and my nappy hair, they are comfortable asking me a variety of questions. The most popular questions relate to my reason for “going natural.” For most sistas, this is quite a decision. The period of contemplation can last anywhere from weeks to years. Some have decided to go natural, but not publicly, and still wear weaves and wigs. Others begin the journey only to turn back a few weeks in. As a black woman, there are few things I can think of more important than my hair. Yes, it frames my face, but it also is an expression of how I feel and how I want others to receive me. There are styles that are flamboyant, reserved, classic, and just plain sharp. Ask any black woman you know about her hair and you will engage in quite the conversation.

 

So, when I’m approached with these questions, especially from black women with straight hair, I know what they are expecting. They want to hear how I made the decision, how I wore my hair in the interim, and how others are receiving me now. They might be pondering the same choice themselves and need some guidance. I welcome the questions. I usually say something about wanting to learn to take care of my hair in its natural state or appreciating my natural beauty. But I have to be honest; none of that is true. The real reason I went natural is because I’m impatient.

 

A black hair salon is not a place to go if you’re short on time. Even the most considerate of stylists will probably take a couple of hours to complete your style. Regardless of appointment time or style, black hair salons, in my experience, are slow. There was one stylist I had on Gratiot in Detroit who was prompt. She would schedule me right after school and I’d be out of there in an hour flat. Other than that, I’ve never found someone so considerate of my time and schedule.

 

Once I moved to Ohio, this problem worsened. I’m impatient by nature, so waiting even 10 minutes past my appointment time is too much to ask. Most stylists assume their customers are used to this practice and don’t even apologize for running behind. On my search for a new stylist, I scheduled times at salons all over town. I got recommendations from friends and coworkers. I had a simple bob and didn’t think that would be tough to maintain. My primary question when asking for a recommendation was whether or not the stylist was timely. Apparently, I have a different definition of that than most people. Stylists who came highly recommended had me waiting for 30 minutes after my appointment time and then were sluggish in completing their other customers ahead of me. The icing on the cake for me was when I called 30 minutes ahead of my appointment time to be sure that she’d be able to accommodate me when I arrived, only to find there were three people waiting when I got there. I didn’t stay for my appointment.

 

My time is precious. The abuse of it is not something I take lightly. When stylists disregard our appointment time and keep me waiting or become distracted and chatter with clients while I’m in the chair, I’m offended. If I showed up to the salon an hour after our scheduled time, that would be addressed. However, when a stylist is an hour behind schedule at a black salon, it’s just supposed to be understood. No, not by me. I have plenty of other things to do besides wait in a salon for hours. Although I wasn’t willing to wait for the services of a stylist, I still needed them. And so my journey to going natural began.

 

Since I was unable to maintain the relaxed styles and layered cuts myself, I decided that going natural would allow me to regain control of my hair and my time. If I wanted to go to a salon for a special style, I could. But in the meantime, I could maintain my own hair and still look gorgeous doing so. Becoming comfortable with my own texture would allow me to find styles and tools that made me feel confident and beautiful without spending hours in the company of someone who took my time and money for granted. That wouldn’t be acceptable in any other industry or for any other clientèle. So, I decided it would not be acceptable for me either.

 

I went to the barber shop to get a haircut and have only been to a salon twice since then. I get compliments on my hair all the time. To say I’m feeling my hair would be an understatement. I love my hair. Having the free time that I savor and more cash on hand makes me love it even more. As I play in my kinks and wrap my naps around my finger, I think about my ancestors in Africa. There were beautiful women walking around this planet with nappy hair long before I decided to do so. This isn’t a revolution after all. It’s simply returning to my roots, literally. I feel more beautiful than I have in a long time. Other women tell me they wish they had the courage or confidence to do the “natural” thing that I do so well. I’m an inspiration to others and a force to be reckoned with…all because I got tired of waiting.

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